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[16 Aug 2006|11:27pm] |
An update for anyone who cares/reads.
I'm pregnant.
I might get a job at Dillard's.
I love my boyfriend.
There are dogs barking outside.
I'm watching a show about rollercoasters.
Summer is almost over.
I'm due March 19th, 2007.
Life is unpredictable &beautiful.
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| 8:47 |
[02 Jul 2006|11:15am] |
July starts out just like any other summer month. Warm, humid mornings. Hot, sticky days. But twilight is what July lives for. Sitting on my front porch is as much a scapegoat as it could ever be. Completely engulfed in summer's mellow magic. Today was nothing special. Lazy, at the most. It's 8:47. My eyes are scanning- always watching. The tall, magestic homes in our neighborhood stand proud- comfortably blanketed in dusk's blue glow. A car's slow moving headlights catch my eye as they reflect off the black railing beside me. The cicadas seem a nice melody to the crackling pops &screaming of nearby firecrackers, &the air is thick with the soft scent of sulfur floating from across the ravine. Upward are the mere silhouettes of my roof of branches. Their leaves slowly shifting &whispering with the breeze. I smile as if it was a joke I was only pretending to understand. The humming air conditioner next door is no match for the excited children across the alley. Are they the only ones left who understand? Isn't there anyone here?
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| Broken Roads &Rainy Days |
[22 Jun 2006|08:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
I feel like I'm really in a slump lately.
Things just aren't adding up.
I haven't slept in about two days,
&I haven't really been eating.
I just don't feel like it.
My mom keeps getting on my case.
"Stop being so depressed. All you do is sleep."
It's raining outside.
It's fitting.
I think I'll go take a walk.
:)
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| 2nd Story Window Watcher |
[27 Feb 2006|08:07am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
I love how my cat spends all his
free time sitting in the windowsill by my bed.
He just sits there. &Stares outside.
Watching birds, cars, small animals, children.
Sometimes I forget that the only world he knows,
is within this 3bed/2bath two story house.
He seems so content, with his little body
all curled up against the screen.
I wonder what he dreams about.
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| Blink Green Light, Blink! |
[21 Feb 2006|08:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Good Life/Track: A Dim Entrance |
] |
My GOODNESS, it's been much too long.
I am awfully sorry for the neglection, LiveJournal.
But, you see, I've been very busy with other things.
Such as, absolutely nothing.
A lot has changed.
But I suppose none of it matters, here.
Because the things that were in existance were never recorded here.
So in which case, in this realm, never existed at all.
Funny how things work out.
But, in any case-
I'm in love.
But it isn't a new love, no.
He's been here for 2 years.
But we are finally going to be together.
&It's about goddamn time.
He is.. breathtaking in every aspect of the word.
On a darker side of things,
if I don't have a job by Friday.. I won't have a car,
or a place to live. Hooray! Seeing as it is already Tuesday,
I think it would be alrite to say.. I'm fucked.
I think now would be a good time to go to bed.
I have no been there yet, &it is nearing 9am.
_________________________________________________________
But the city's fireflies wash the bedroom with light.
_________________________________________________________
♥
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| This Is True Crime. |
[01 Jan 2006|09:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Acacia Strain/Track: Carbomb |
] |
Happy New Year.
-----------------------
I want to make this year count.
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| Settle, Precious... |
[30 Dec 2005|03:10pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
My brother trying to fix my other computer. |
] |
I'm on my new laptop.
My brother is selling it to me.
He's so nice.
I went &saw Josiah &Kylee in Raritan on Monday 'til Wednesday.
It was really a lot of fun. They are so amazing.
The show Wednesday night was the most fun I think I've
ever had at a show. It was fantastic.
Tomorrow is New Years Eve.
Hopefully I'll be attending Heidi's New Year's Ever party
with Geoff as my date. Awwh.
I'm supposed to go see Trans Siberian Orchestra
with my dad tonite. I don't want to go.
But I'm pretty sure I have to.
Oh well. It might be an ok time.
I feel weird today.
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| It's That Day Again... |
[24 Dec 2005|01:15pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Christmas carols<3 |
] |
I am a princess on the way to my throne
destined to reign Y destined to roam
----------------
Merry Christmas, everyone.
<3
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| The Wayward Stars. |
[18 Dec 2005|05:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 restless |
] |
but, how are you supposed to fall asleep
if you're already dreaming?
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| Going Slow, Very Slow.. |
[14 Dec 2005|01:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Eisley/Track: Memories |
] |
Distant tho I am
Orange, gold, and green
Firing, flaming, colors surround me
I'm always wondering where you are.
---------------------------------------------------
My life thrives off of chaos &confusion.
But oh, I'm happy.
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| If you remember- I've been trying to get back to the center. |
[09 Dec 2005|12:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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sore |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The furnace behind me. |
] |
It's very snowy outside.
I really like it.
It seems kind of weird that Christmas is already almost here.
I haven't even gotten anybody gifts yet.
I had one of those nights last night.
I was in a really weird mood.
Sometimes, I get really annoyed with people.
Because they're stupid. &Seem like they just pretend to give a damn.
My mom is going to Iowa City today for her cancer checkup.
I'm rather hungry- &I've just noticed that mom bought all kinds
of goodies for me to eat for lunch. See boys &girls- complaining does pay off.
I was so hungry last night, &we didn't have ANYTHING. I went to make a grilled cheese-
no american cheese. I went to make PB&J, no jelly. I went to make wheels &cheese- none.
I went to make some ramen noodles- none. Wanted to make some soup- nope, didn't have any.
Etc., etc.
Yesterday I got to see my BFF, Josh<3
It was fun. We ate pizza rolls &he watched me play Kingdom Hearts.
For Christmas, I'd really like to have one of those network adapters for PS2.
So I can play people online. AMPLITUDE ONLINE. OH MY GOSH. I'd orgasm.
I made a new Xanga yesterday.
I tend to do that whenever I feel like my life has changed significantly.
Here it is. (Click that.)
I like it.
I realize that this has been nothing but unimportant ramblings,
&I'm much too hungry to sit in the basement all day listening to Thackery
knock over anything &everything he can get his paws on.
♥
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| The ones that carry never back down. |
[08 Dec 2005|03:30am] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Maylene & The Sons Of Disaster |
] |
"i'm an austrailian pit boy!"
"....giggles faintly.."
"look! look at my breasts!"
"get the snow off your balls!"
"come on, thackery! two-step with me!"
_______________________________________________
me &my sister are so funny.
_______________________________________________
tonight was a good night.
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| Special People Olympics |
[06 Dec 2005|01:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Circa Survive/Track: The Great Golden Baby |
] |
So, tonite, we decorated the Christmas tree. It still needs to be finished. But it looks beautiful.
My sister &I put on Christmas music. We danced &laughed. It was really fun.
I had pizza at Ash's earlier in the day. We watched some of Harry Potter 3 &giggled.
Then Britty came over &we went to Luke's.
She, myself, Luke, Mike, &Big Ben went to McDonalds.
Then back to Luke's. We watched Family Guy.
&Then Michael got stuck in the bathroom.
It was hands down, the funniest thing. Ever.
Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Cody.
I love my life.
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| It's Christmas in the Hood. |
[05 Dec 2005|01:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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At All Cost/Track:Human Now |
] |
&Now we return to: Comedy Hour with Kristina &Kara.
letsDANCE boy (1:29:40 PM): my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:30:13 PM): you can do side bends or sit ups, but please don't lose that butt!
letsDANCE boy (1:30:17 PM): hahaha
letsDANCE boy (1:30:27 PM): I need a sista can't resist her, red beans and rice didn't miss her
letsDANCE boy (1:30:28 PM): haha
letsDANCE boy (1:30:33 PM): I like the Throwdown version
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:30:37 PM): hahahahaha
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:33:05 PM): i'm... very naked.
letsDANCE boy (1:33:49 PM): Aren't you always?
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:34:13 PM): you're right.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:34:25 PM): i'm like the pope of nudity.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:34:31 PM): ...the pope? sure why not.
letsDANCE boy (1:34:35 PM): hahaha. I don't think there's a pope for that sort of thing.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:34:43 PM): well there is now.
letsDANCE boy (1:35:13 PM): wouldn't you rather be a duchess, or an empress or something?
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:35:30 PM): but the pope gets to wear the pointy hat!
letsDANCE boy (1:36:14 PM): hahaha alright
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:36:40 PM): that was probably one of the most pointless, most ridiculous conversations ever.
letsDANCE boy (1:37:06 PM): More than likely. But really, did we expect something meaningful to come out of our teenage, unrefined mouths?
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:37:16 PM): no, no not really.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:38:16 PM): the only thing we can expect to come out of our mouths is.. well, saliva. for those loogey spittin' moments. or.. puke! yeah, puke.
letsDANCE boy (1:38:27 PM): Yeah!
letsDANCE boy (1:38:35 PM): Or blood when we get into brawls.
SHES CONDUCTIVE (1:38:48 PM): because we're fucking xtuffx
---------------------------------
Needless to say, we're pretty awesome.
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| Shards of Nothing. |
[04 Dec 2005|09:09pm] |
Do watch your step- we wouldn't want those delicate feet to tear. We're walking on broken glass. This
road is miles long- I hope you brought your running shoes. You never once complained. But I know you
better than that. Perhaps if you would just, for once, say what you were thinking.. You'd get what you
want. It was always one-sided, wasn't it? I often wonder where my head was. 365 days well wasted, I
suppose. It was more or less a game. To see who could fool themselves into believing they were happy
first. You won. In the end, I forfeited. Collected my $200, &passed go. These books scattered along the
tables, trying desperately to find some sort of logic amongst the chaos. There is, of course, none to be
found. But the ghosts of our happier moments will search on. Do you remember when you told me all the
things you did? ...You lied.
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| The Dark Flight Down |
[04 Dec 2005|01:54pm] |
In the morning you should think
You might not last unto the night,
In the evening you should think
You might not last unto the morn.
So dance, my dears, dance,
Before you take the dark flight down...
___________________________________________
I thought I would care more when it came down to this.
But I guess not.
I'm just sorry I wasted an entire year on nothing.
&To all the friends I lost over him- I'm sorry.
I'm free, now.
&I'm happy.
I have friends who care about me.
&A new possible love interest.
It's just funny.
How you can spend so long with somebody-
&in the end, realizing they know nothing about you.
It's a new chapter in my life, from here on out.
I think it will be a good one.
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